The internet is full of humorous what if programming languages texts, but couldn't find one for accommodation, so I wrote my own. Summer is a good time for writing funny, lightweight, worthless posts.
An expensive, luxury 5-star hotel. Everyday you wonder why you pay such money for services you rarely use. If money is not an issue this is the best choice.
A decent bed and breakfast. Nothing more, nothing less. Suitable only if you are outdoors for sightseeing the whole day.
A hostel. You must handle everything yourself: living conditions, transportation, guides, neighbors etc. Recommended only to young and experienced travelers.
A decent 3-star hotel. The personnel is the most kind, helpful and trained you ever met. You will enjoy it but next year you will consider the 5-star hotels.
Airbnb. It looks beautiful and cheap on the site but you can never be sure until you see it with your eyes.
Hospitality. You are hosted in a friend's house. Everything depends on how good and close that friend is.
Apartment. You couldn't find anything decent online so you talk to a friend who has a friend with a friend who rents rooms. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
A mansion. A well preserved 19th century mansion, located inside a big, beautiful garden and with a path to a private beach. Nature and serenity but where are the people? Recommended to fiction writers or avid readers.